CONDUCT UNBECOMING: WHAT NOT TO DO IN BRAZIL
These suggestions are not just for business people, but for anyone going to Brazil under any circumstances. For the most part, these are matters of good sense and common decency, and would be true anywhere in the world.
MANNERS
Many Brazilians (and often Europeans and other Latin Americans) are shocked by our eating habits. The following is a list of helpful information regarding eating habits and table manners.
(Note: Once again, please understand that these behavioral "facts" are relative and may not apply to all people you meet. Use good judgement!)
- Do not touch anything with your fingers. Using the hands is considered ill-mannered and unhygienic. Brazilians use utensils for pizza, sandwiches, fruit and chicken.
- Fruit is often served in a dish or sliced as it is eaten.
- Wrap food carefully with a napkin before picking it up.
- Wipe your mouth after every sip of drink taken.
- Try to eat in the "continental" style, with the fork in the left hand at all time and cutting with the right hand.
- Food should always be shared, even if the amount of food is clearly not sufficient to share, the offer should be made.
- When offered something in Brazil, one must say "yes" or "please". "Thank you" indicates a refusal, "No, thank you" is considered rudely blunt. Always offer an excuse so that the offerer is not offended.
- Feijoada is a standard Brazilian dish, traditionally served on Wednesdays and Saturdays. It consists of highly spiced black beans and assorted (!) meats, eaten with, orange slices and rice.
- Coffee is only served with breakfast, and usually with milk. It is served after other meals. Brazilian cafezinho, after dinner coffee, is very strong and very sweet.
- The American habit of belching and then excusing oneself is particularly repulsive to Brazilians. Brazilians consider belching highly offensive, and to call attention to the belch after the fact is considered embarrassing for all. The same goes for sneezing and coughing, one should simply leave the table or at least turn completely around, away from the group.
- Toothpicks (palitos) may be used at the table, but the mouth must be covered with hand or napkin.
- Brazilians keep both hands above the table while eating. The American habit of keeping one hand on the lap strikes them as very odd and may spark jokes.
- When not being held, the knife rests with the handle on the table and the tip on the side of the plate.
- Never use the fork to cut anything.
- When talking, rest the silverware on the plate.
- When finished, place the utensils across the plate.
- In a restaurant, patrons may have to call the waiter both to order and/or to get the bill. Waiters are beckoned with the index finger of an upraised hand, saying softly garçon. To signal the check, mimic the writing of a bill, and say, if within hearing distance, "A conta por favor" Snapping the fingers is considered extremely rude!
- The bill should either be paid for by one person or evenly divided among the group. Brazilians find the American habit of itemizing a bill for each to pay the exact amount petty.
- Brazilians do not drink from bottle or can, they will always use a glass.
- If invited to a Brazilian's home, you will be expected to eat a lot of whatever is offered. Do not voice any displeasure at any of the food. Acceptance of what is on the plate is tantamount to acceptance of host, country and company.
GIVING GIFTS
To North Americans, this instant intimacy can seem like assault and battery by abraço. Another important aspect to the friendship is the lavish giving and taking. Whether it is of money, favors ("jeito") or gifts, it is a way of life that North Americans often have a difficult time not getting into. The trick is to do it with grace and genuine regard for your new "old friends".
Guidelines:
- Never go empty-handed to anyone's house.
- Women should be very cautious about giving gifts to male colleagues or customers.
- Gifts for children can never go wrong.
- Do not give gifts during business. The best time is when business is through and the situation is relaxed.
- For your return visit, ask colleagues if there is anything from America they especially want. Be careful not to imply that American goods are better then what can be purchased there.
- Giving perfume to a woman is not considered too personal.
- Avoid giving 13 of anything (bad luck), anything purple or black (a reminder of Lenten season), knives (implies cutting off of the relationship), and handkerchiefs (associated with tears).
- Do not admire possessions effusively or he/she is likely to insist on making a gift of them.
"Despachante" is the term used in Brazil to refer to the person "in the know" or the facilitator of business transactions. This is the insider who will be able to help out at any given moment. The terms of the facilitator are simple, he wants your friendship and he wants it now.
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